I am a father and I’m not ashamed or scared to express my love for my daughter!

I spent seven years volunteering with Barnardos here in Canberra and I spent many years understanding and studying psychology behind why people do things.

One thing I know out of all this, is that sexual violence and intimidation is not only a cultural thing but it is something that is in most cases factor of the environment in which we grew up in, the environment in which we felt comfortable in the environment in which the foundations were set.

To transform our culture I believe we need to start at the grassroots and that for me is the family unit. It is within this family unit and the people associated with it that set the foundations for the children that will eventually have complete control over their own destiny.

Make a positive change today and help transform our culture by educating our children that sexual violence, intimidation and domestic violence is not okay!

It is not the victims fault as they didn’t choose to be a victim, so let’s change the culture away from victim blaming and put a spotlight where it belongs, back onto the perpetrators.

 

 

Males or females it doesn’t matter. This is a problem for us, all of us!

It is up to us to change the culture around sexual violence and to make sure that people know it is not okay!

Too much emphasis on communication around some of these events is put onto the victim and I feel that this is totally inappropriate. Victims are victims, by the very nature of being a victim you are not responsible or should be blamed for the actions of others are caused you to be a victim.

Some of these perpetrators walked this planet with a delusional understanding that they are better than everyone because they can go along and intimidate and control others through physical and emotional abuse.

These people have issues, serious issues that need to be addressed and recognised before they create a victim.

 

Red is the colour of passion, passion that I believe is within all of us. The walls and halls of the home should not be splattered in red.

The men and women subjected to sexual violence and domestic violence should not see the colour red and less the intent is love.

Far too many homes around Australia subject to the never-ending cycle of sexual and domestic abuse. This cycle continues through generations and one that I am all too familiar with.

When a child sees a parent either subjecting someone to sexual or domestic violence that sends a very strong message to that child that that behaviour is accepted. It doesn’t matter if they are male or female, the message is the same.

Studies have shown that children in this environment will either be a perpetrator or a victim of this never-ending cycle. It is up to us to go along and break this cycle!!

As a community and a culture we need to send a very clear message that this behaviour is not okay while also understanding the history and the reasons behind this type of behaviour.

It is not something that has been generated overnight but something that has been learned over a lifetime.

No matter the history this behaviour is not okay and if you are a victim or a perpetrator there is help out there.

If you know someone in this situation as I’m sure many of you do, be there for them. Help them through this, and make sure they know there is help out there.

 

As a portrait photographer and someone that photographs a lot of models I see a different side of people one that many don’t see in one of those sides is the external facing side. One we all have and is very obvious to everyone.

What I mean by this is how we look to other people and how others perceive us by the way we look. This to some can mean many things and can stir up many emotions both good and bad. Personal parents and how someone represents themselves is ultimately their choice, they have the right to go along and wear whatever they feel is right for them. They have the right and the choice to go along and change their external facing side to match their internal facing side.

Women don’t wear lipstick for other people, they were lipstick for them it makes them feel good, and if it makes them feel good then they should do it.

How they dress and how they represent their external side does not mean they open to sexual violence, and it certainly doesn’t mean that anyone should think, do, or otherwise anything to them without them explicitly agreeing.

 

Violence is never the answer! Although us men are not the sole perpetrators of sexual violence and abuse we do have a moral responsibility to not only ensure the safety of those around us but also to educate and remove any thought that this type of behaviour is okay in our society.

I know there are men out there that actually think that sexual violence, intimidation and mental abuse is okay. My message to them is that it is not okay and there is no place in this or any other culture for those thoughts or behaviours.

Men that act and behave in this way are missing something the lives, they missing thought process that allows them to feel like men without the need to intimidate or show their authority over someone else. They need help. Serious help!!

The feeling of power that this gives them is only short lived and continuous and without positive change within those men and from the people around them it will continue.

While this campaign involves a lot of women I believe that it is the men that need to take charge of this. It is the men that need to stand up and say no it is not okay and is the real men that need to show leadership and courage to stand up and educate the males which think they are men!